Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations).

What is this principle?

 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.

What does this mean?

We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.

We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? ……….By your reaction. You cannot control a red light. but you can control your reaction. Don’t let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

Let’s use an example.

You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.

When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why? ….

Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did your daughter cause it?

 C) Did the policeman cause it?

D) Did you cause it?

The answer is “D”.

 You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have and should have happened.

 Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, “Its ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time”. Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having. Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction. Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.

 If someone says something negative about you, don’t be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don’t have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc. How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them?

WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive? Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it. You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job. The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take outpour frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse. Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.

 It CAN change your life!!!

Enjoy….

See the pages in social science text book of 7th std making big issue in kerala. Wat’s this issue about..? any idea..?

all this mess is because this book doesn’t say all the religions are different and humans are to be divided based on religions and religions are the most important thing …even above human beings….

I don’t understand how a lesson that teaches to see human beings above religion can be wrong.

There is some disputable content in this text book which can be discussed, but nowhere has it anything against God or instills Atheism. Or if it is a crime to make children think above religion or to promote inter-religious marriages, it has something to provoke fanatics from all religions. But the protests from such religious fanatics or the political parties should be ignored in a progressive society.

One of the best of best teachings from the great personality Mr.Abdul Kalam!

I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.

One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn’t realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy’s mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad’s voice over the wind yell, “Bart, Hold on tightly.” So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.

I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy’s mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, “Tammy, don’t fall!” And Tammy did… fall.

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image.In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.

This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can’t visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn’t get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, “Don’t drop it!” Naturally, I dropped the ball.

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper “self-talk.” They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn’t. I’ll never make it pro, but I’m now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, “Okay, try to drop the pencil.” Observe what they do.

Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, “You weren’t paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again.” Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.

The point is made.

If you tell your brain you will “give it a try,” you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a “no try” rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won’t. Either they will be at the party or they won’t. I’m brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don’t know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words “I’ll try” come out of my mouth unless I’m teaching this concept in a seminar.

If you “try” and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can’t make a decision I will tell the truth. “Sorry John. I’m not sure if I will be at your party or not. I’ve got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite.”

People respect honesty. So remove the word “try” from your vocabulary.

My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true.. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.

These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.

Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.

So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, ” I’m fat. Nobody will like me. I’ll try this diet. I’m not good enough. I’m so stupid. I’m broke, etc. etc.”

If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue. Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.

Notice when you or other people use them.

Ø But: Negates any words that are stated before it.
Ø Try: Presupposes failure.
Ø If: Presupposes that you may not.
Ø Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener.
Ø Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen.
Ø Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen (and implies guilt.)
Ø Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.
Ø Can’t/Don’t: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.

I’m doing some of my own soul searching to watch out for my behaviour patterns to see how I can improve in the future to become more assertive.   

Everybody wants to be prince charming. Life and love don’t follow a Hollywood script or a Disney film.  These things take serious work and commitment. 

I personally like learning good things from others and have found it to be an invaluable experience to my personal growth and development as a person.  Now some may say that I’ve gone overboard on this self improvement bandwagon. Every person I meet is helping me improve my life for the positive; I just don’t understand why others wouldn’t want to reach out for that kind of learnign from those succesful persons out there to better themselves?

None of us are perfect, why struggle by ourselves when there are amazing people out, from whome we can learn a lot ? So don’t envy those who are succesful.just learn from them.

Think that you are the universal human being and not a Hindu or a Christian or a Muslim. You belong to all the Religions, which are the same syllabus in different languages. The same Lord appeared in different forms. Every Religion has a Gem. Use all the Gems in your spiritual life. Are you not using the Muslim petrol, scientific technology of Christians and analytical brain of Hindus in your materialistic life? Similarly you can use the merit of each Religion. Suppose paddy is grown in one part, pulses are grown in another part and vegetables are grown in some other part of the country. The department of civil supplies is moving rice, pulses and vegetables through out the country so that every person in the country has rice, pulses and vegetable curry in his meal plate. Such a meal only can give the full satisfaction to every body.

Muslims are famous in regularity, discipline and firmness in the faith of the Lord. Even if it is not a holiday and even if it is working time and even in the journey they will pray the Lord. Hindus worship the Lord in the leisure time and Christians worship the Lord on a holiday. Similarly the love of Christians is a Gem. They love even their enemies and give funds to the spiritual centers of other Religions also. In Hindus tolerance is the Gem. They worship different forms of the same Lord. Therefore have firm faith and discipline like a Muslim. Show love even to your enemies like a Christian. Worship the different forms of the same Lord of all the Religions in the same manner like a Hindu. All these merits are like rivers merging in the ocean of spiritualism. Be a sea fish. Don’t be a stagnant river fish. All the Religions in the advanced stage mix and become one and the same in the spiritual ocean.

“People believe themselves to be dependent on what happens for their happiness, that is to say, dependent on form. They don’t realize that what happens is the most unstable thing in the universe. It changes constantly. They look upon the present moment as either marred by something that has happened and shouldn’t have or as deficient because of something that has not happened but should have. And so they miss the deeper perfection that is inherent in life itself, a perfection that is always already here, that lies beyond what is happening or not happening, beyond form.”

It is always now; it always has been now, and always will be now. The concept of past and future is a function of the mind, recalling past Nows and anticipating future ones. The past gives a sense of identity, as well as resentment, regret, and other emotions. The future gives hope for better things in the future, as well as fear and anxiety. Both sides of time remove us from the present moment, which is the only place where we exist.
So be in “NOW”

This story tells about a mountain atheistis climber, who wanted to climb the highest mountain. He begun his adventure after many years of preparation, but since he wanted to the glory just for himself, he decided to climb the mountain alone and he started climbing the mountain alone.
The night felt heavy in the heights of the mountain , and the man could not see anything. All was black. Zero visibility, and the moon and the stars were covered by the clouds.As he was climbing, only a few feet away from the top of the mountain, he slipped and fell into the air, falling at a great speed. The climber could only see black spots as he went down, and the terrible sensation of being sucked by gravity. He kept falling, and in those moments of great fear, it came to his mind all the good and bad episodes of his life.He was thinking now about how close death was getting, when all of a sudden he felt rope tied to his waist pull him very hard. His body was hanging in air. Only the rope was holding him, and in that moment of stillness even thou he was an atheist he screamed : HELP ME GOD !

All of a sudden , a deep voice coming from the sky answered :

What do you want me to do?

This person said ‘Save me God!’

Do you think that I can save you?

-Of course I believe you can

THEN CUT THE ROPE TIED TO YOUR WAIST…

There was a moment of silence; and the man decided to hold on to the rope with all his strength.

The rescue team tells, that the next day a climber was found dead and frozen.. his body hanging from a rope. His hands holding tight to it.. ONLY 10 FEET AWAY FROM THE GROUND…

* She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating
room. She said: “How is my little boy ? Is he going to be all right ?
When can I see him ?”

** The surgeon said, “I’m sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn’t
make it.”

*Sally said, “Why do little children get cancer ? Doesn’t God care any more
? Where were you, God, when my son needed you ?”

** The surgeon asked, “Would you like some time alone with your son ? One
of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he’s transported to the
university.”

** Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to son.
She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. “Would you
like a lock of his hair ?” the nurse asked.

**Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy’s hair, put it in a
plastic bag and handed it to Sally.

* The mother said, “It was Jimmy’s idea to donate his body to the University
for Study. He said it might help somebody else. “I said no at first, but
Jimmy said, ‘Mom, I won’t be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some
other little boy spend one more day with his Mom.” She went on, “My Jimmy
had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to
help others if he could.”

** Sally walked out of Children’s Mercy Hospital for the last time, after
spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy’s
belongings on the seat beside her in the car.

* The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty
house. She carried Jimmy’s belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of
his hair to her son’s room.

**She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his
room exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed
and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.

* It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was
a folded letter.

The letter said* :

* “Dear Mom, I know you’re going to miss me; but don’t think that I will
ever forget you, or stop loving you, just ’cause I’m not around to say “I
Love You” . I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday
we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy
so you won’t be so lonely, that’s okay with me. He can have my room and old
stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably
wouldn’t like the same things us boys do. You’ll have to buy her dolls and
stuff girls like, you know. Don’t be sad thinking about me. This really is
a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed
me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels
are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn’t
look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him.
Jesus himself took me to see GOD ! And guess what, Mom ? I got to sit on
God’s knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That’s when I
told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good bye and
everything. But I already knew that wasn’t allowed. Well, you know what
Mom ? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this
letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this
letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the
questions you asked Him ‘Where was He when I needed him ?’ “God said He was
in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was
right there, as He always is with all His children. Oh, by the way, Mom, no
one else can see what I’ve written except you. To everyone else this is
just a blank piece of paper. Isn’t that cool ? I have to give God His pen
back now. He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight
I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I’m sure the food will be
great.
 

* Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don’t hurt anymore. The cancer is all
gone. I’m glad because I couldn’t stand that pain anymore and God couldn’t
stand to see me hurt so much, either. That’s when He sent The Angel of
Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery ! How about
that ?
*
*
**Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me.

 A young man was getting ready to graduate college. For many months he
 had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer’s showroom, and knowing
 his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.

 As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his
 father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation
 his father called him into his private study.

 His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told
 him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift
 box. Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man opened the box
 and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible.

 Angrily, he raised his voice at his father and said, “With all your
 money you give me a Bible?” and stormed out of the house, leaving the
 holy book.

 He never contacted his father again for long long time.
 Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He
 had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was
 very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him
 since that graduation day.

 Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him
 his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his
 son. He needed to come home immediately and take care things. When he
 arrived at his father’s house, sudden sadness and regret filled his
 heart. He began to search his father’s important papers and saw the
 still new Bible,just as he had left it years ago.

 With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages.
 As he read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope taped behind
 the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer’s name, the same dealer who had
 the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his
 graduation,and the words
 ..PAID IN FULL.

 How many times do we miss GOD blessings because they are not
 packaged as we expected?

Political will-power is one of the major pre-requisites for abolishing the Religions.
Humanity has 3 basic differences that can never be bridged no matter what.
Thay are,
1)Gender Difference
2)Ethnic/Racial/Linguistic difference
and most importantly 3) Difference between the rich and the poor.

All these 3 things would continue to exist so long as humanity exists.
Religion is just another ‘ADD-ON’ to all these already existing dividers.
More importantly, Religious differences is mainly man-made (not nature-made) and is thus the most dangerous and hance needs to be completely abolished.